PROVERBS

Lesson 7: The Parent - Child Relationship

"By wisdom a house is built, and by understanding it is established" (Prov. 24:3).

Like the husband wife relationship, Proverbs puts nothing but the highest emphasis on the importance of the Parent - Child relationship and upon the rules that govern it. As elsewhere in the scripture, the opportunity to have children is not regarded as a burden, but is considered a blessing (17:6). The burden comes when    parents do not do their job or when youths rebel against their parents instruction.

-Proverbs declares that "a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame." Clearly, children do not raise themselves. Parents have an obligation to make certain that their children are provided for in physical ways (31:21). But beyond giving them food, clothing and shelter, parents must be aware of the power they have in shaping the future lives of their child. Proverbs speaks of obligations in several such areas.

Instruction and Training - "Hear, ye children, the instruction of a father, and attend to know understanding. For I give you good doctrine, forsake ye not my law. For I was my father's son, tender and only beloved in the sight of my mother. He taught me also , and said unto me, Let thine heart retain my words: keep my commandments and live" (4: 1-4). "Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it " (22:6).

Loving Correction - "He that spareth his rod hateth his son: but he that loveth him chasteneth him betimes" (13:24; compare with Prov. 3:11,12). "Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying" (19:18). "Foolishness is bound in the heart of a child; but the rod of correction shall drive it far from him ''  (22: 15). "Withhold not correction from the child; for if thou beatest him with the rod he shall not die. Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell" (23:13,14). "The rod and reproof give wisdom: but a child left to himself bringeth his mother to shame " (29:15). "Correct thy son, and he shall give thee rest; yea, he shall give delight unto thy soul" (29:17). These scriptures advise that physical discipline must be done in love, consistently, while still young, to help them see what is wise, and to correct their course.

Parental Influence - "The just man walketh in his integrity: his children are blessed after him'' (20:7). "Children's children are the crown of old men; and the glory of children are their fathers" (17:6). Our parental examples will go a long way in helping our children do what is right. Don't ever forget that despite all we might think, children take great pride in their parents and look up to them as role models.

Love is More Important than Things - ''Better is a dinner of herbs where love is, than a stalled ox and hatred therewith" (15:17). "Better is a dry morsel, and quietness therewith, than an house full of sacrifices with strife" (17:1). One of the greatest things you can give your family is a home void of anger, strife and constant turmoil, and instead filled with love.

Children also have a part in making a home a success. They must be taught their obligations as well and be reminded of the appropriate attitudes God expects them to have.

Listen - "My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother" (1:8). "My son, attend to my words; incline thine ear unto my sayings" (4:20). "My son, give me thine heart, and let thine eyes observe my ways" (23:26).

Accept Rebuke - "A wise son heareth his father's instruction: but a scorner heareth not rebuke" (13:1). "A fool despiseth his father's instructions; But he that regardeth reproof is prudent" (15:5). "He that being often reproved hardeneth his neck, shall suddenly be destroyed, and that without remedy" (29:1).

Bind Parental Teaching on Themselves - "My son keep thy father's commandment, and forsake not the law of thy mother: Bind them continually upon thine heart, and tie them about thy neck. When thou goest, it shall lead thee; and when thou sleepest, it shall keep thee; and when thou awakest, it shall talk with thee. For the commandment is a lamp; and the law is light; and reproofs of instruction are the way of life" (6:20-23). Children must be taught to discipline themselves. "My son, keep my words, and lay up my commandments with thee. Keep my commandments, and live; and my law as the apple of thine eye. Bind them upon thy fingers, write them upon the table of thine heart" (7:1-3).

Show Respect - "Hearken unto thy father that begat thee, and despise not thy mother when she is old" (23:22). "The eye that mocketh at his father, and despiseth to obey his mother, the ravens of the valley shall pick it out, and the young eagles shall eat it" (30:17). "He that wasteth his father, and chaseth away his mother, is a son that causeth shame, and bringeth reproach" (19:26). "Whoso curseth his father or mother, his lamp shall be put out in obscure darkness" (20:20).

Any generation that fails to respect their parents will become an arrogant and immoral generation. "There is a generation that curseth their father, and doth not bless their mother. There is a generation that are pure in their own eyes, and yet is not washed from their filthiness. There is a generation, O how lofty are their eyes! And their eyelids are lifted up" (30:11-13).

For Parents - "A wise son maketh a glad father: but a foolish son is the heaviness of his mother" (10:1; also 15:20). "He that begetteth a fool doeth it to his sorrow: and the father of a fool hath no joy" (17:21). "A foolish son is a grief to his father, and bitterness to her that bare him" (17:25). "A foolish son is the calamity of his father" (19:13a). "The father of the righteous shall greatly rejoice: and he that begetteth a wise child shall have joy of him. Thy father and thy mother shall be glad, and she that bare thee shall rejoice" (23:24-25). "My son, be wise, and make my heart glad, that I may answer him that reproacheth me" (27:11). "Whoso keepeth the law is a wise son: but he that is a companion of riotous men shall shame his father" (28:7). "Whoso loveth wisdom rejoiceth his father: but the that keepeth company with harlots spendeth his substance" (29:3).

For the Child - "My son, hear the instruction of thy father, and forsake not the law of thy mother: For they shall be an ornament of grace unto thy head, and chains about thy neck" (1:8,9). "Hear, O my son, and receive my sayings; and the years of thy life shall be many. I have taught thee in the way of wisdom; I have led thee in right paths. When thou goest, thy steps shall not be straitened; and when thou runnest, thou shalt not stumble" (4:10-12).

QUESTIONS:

1. Does 22:6 given an absolute or general truth?

2. From the following scriptures, list some areas in which parents should be training their children:

[Introduction to Proverbs]  [Lesson 1-The Value of Wisdom]   [Lesson 2-What it Means to be a Fool]
 [Lesson 3- Relationship with God] [Lesson 4- Relationship with  Fellowman]   [Lesson 5- Marriage Relationship]
[Lesson 6-Problem of Adultery]  [Lesson 8-Government ] [Lesson 9 - Money_Labor.html]
[Lesson 10-Self-Control]   [Lesson 11-Rewards/Consequences]

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Page last updated: March 03, 2003